If I've to go through a major surgery or undergo the pain I feel now, I would opt for the former.
Waking up in cold sweat and haunted by thoughts I would rather not have. I hate waking up in the middle of the night with heaviness descending on me. The pain in my heart is suffocating. If this is what it takes to feel, perhaps feeling numb is an easier option.
Distracted from my day-to-day functions and finding it extremely difficult to play the different roles expected. The morning sun pierces through my empty soul.
Sometimes, would like to just sleep through and not deal with the pain. If only I can sleep.