I suddenly have the urge to want to do handstand. That's coming from someone who could not touch her toes two years ago.
Walked into my first Bikram class not knowing what to expect and was hooked since then. It started with falling in love with the experience of shutting down the mind and focusing on my breathing for 90 minutes. Nothing else in the world matters other than just breathing, following the teacher's instruction and staying in the heated room. It was the only time I calm my mind.
There are still many postures in my Bikram practice I am struggling with. On some days, I cannot even manage the basic ones. Weird as it may sound, some postures that started quite easy grew difficult. I recalled how I used to fear back-bend. I was scared. It was until one of the teachers who told me that back-bend is all about receiving love that I finally mustered the courage to give it a try. And the initial months of my attempt to do back-bend made me nausea.
Some days, I beat up myself for not perfecting many of the poses. Then I recalled how I started, a woman who could not even touch her toes. I have improved a lot since then. Instead of being too hard on myself, I simply have to practice and continue to believe in myself. Someday, I am sure I can do the handstand.