Female Boss vs Male Boss

My colleague and I had lunch with a couple young trainees.  These are the future leaders of the bank.  They are smart, articulate and many had been educated overseas.  Someone raised an interesting question asking if they prefer female or male bosses.  Almost all the young ladies put up their hand in preference for a male boss.  Reasons for avoiding a female boss ranges from emotional instability (which I can swear apply to both genders and I still have scars from my irrational male bosses in the past) to nit-picking.

I feel that female bosses have been unfairly portrayed as Miranda Priestly in "The Devil wears Prada".   When a woman is aggressive and ambitious, she is a bitch.  When she's straightforward, she's either blunt or rude.  When she displays emotion at work, she's irrational.  When she doesn't display emotion, she's cold-blooded.   When a man is aggressive and ambitious, he's simply aggressive and ambitious.  When he's straightforward, he's honest.  When he displays emotion at work, he's in touched with his feeling.  When he doesn't display emotion at work, he's reserved.

If the young women coming up the corporate ladder think gender bias is an issue of the past generation, think again.  You've just displayed the greatest bias by putting up your hands.

Diversity at work

Diversity spans across gender.  Being a career woman and a working mom, I would however like to share my observation on this topic close to my heart.  In Asia, many industries are relatively dominated by men and hence drive a macho culture within the organization.  Senior management networked over drinks and golfs where women are inclined not to join.  Women in senior management position struggle to be part of the pact.  

The absence of back-slapping camaraderie may result in women being side-lined in important decisions and promotion.  Most women I speak to feel they have to work harder to be where they are.  And there are enough studies to show women make less than their peer holding the same positions.    The challenge for women is whether to conform to the macho culture and start acting tough; playing by the boy's rules or risk letting our femininity discount our capability?  

With half of the world's population women and with more women graduating college, we cannot afford to ignore this talent pool.  As we try to build a sustainable business, we need to tap and retain the women in the work force.  Women tend to bring in a different approach to management.  It will benefit organizations to embrace the difference.   

I am an ardent believer that everyone should be credited for their merits. Women want to be promoted because we deserve it and not because of diversity.  And I've seen enough examples of women compensate for the lack of social networking within their organizations by working harder. 

How can an organization attract and retain female employees?  For a start, senior management of the organization has to walk the walk.  Diversity cannot simply be a marketing gimmick we flaunt.  It takes a cultural change to learn to accept and respect the female counter-parts at work.  It means sexiest jokes are no longer acceptable, networking has to be more inclusive and more conscious decisions on changes to be made.  It means supporting our female employees through their different stages in life.  Many women leave the work force because they are frowned upon for ensuring their family especially young kids are adequately taken care for without compromising on their work.

Organizations with the the right frame-work to support women through their different stages in life help attract and retain female employees.  A nursing room, flexible working hour (this may not be suitable for all jobs), and work from home (which can be most helpful in most traffic congested cities in Asia) are examples of some initiatives already implemented by several organizations.  

Some skeptics question whether all these are good for business.  I've seen lower turn-over at organization that makes serious effort on diversity.  I rest my case and long hail to some of the organizations in Indonesia I personally know which are advocates of diversity; Unilever and Standard Chartered Bank.  May the others learn form the best in class.

Values of a corporate

In a corporate world, people are highly concerned with how they are being perceived.  As they say, perception is reality.  As such, people walk around trying to put up an armored front.

Is it considered weak if we show kindness at work?  Do we have to act tough to get ahead in the race?

I want to believe that basic courtesy and kindness will help us far in life.   If an organization condones bad behavior, do we want to be associated with it?  Do we want to surround ourselves with people who do not share the same basic values with us?

More organizations are now concerned with building the right culture.  The right values are encouraged and senior management walk the walk as much as they talk the talk.  I know a bank which promotes its values which are trustworthy, international, creative, responsive and courageous with conviction.  I am certain more organizations will realize that the right values are crucial to build a sustainable business.

Until such time, it is up to individuals like us to lead by being the right example.

Job and Retrenchment

The financial crisis seems far behind in most part of South East Asia.  Most people who've lost their jobs would have found one by now.  And the impact of a weak economy and fear of retrenchment has long been forgotten.

We so often complained about our job; the work itself, the colleagues we have to deal with, office politics, difficult clients and the list goes on.  Yet we fail to be grateful for a job that helps put bread (or rice) on the table. For most of us who like what we are doing on most days, we should even be more thankful.

The impact of retrenchment is detrimental to one's self-esteem and definitely disruptive to the financial stability of the family.  When you are told you would be terminated, even though you know that it's due to the weak economy, the first question you have is "why me".  Your mind will start playing trick on you and self-doubt will start to kick-in.  You probably will lose your self-confidence.  You start worrying about covering the basic needs of the family and having to change the life-style of everyone on the family to ease through this challenging period.  You find it difficult to explain to your family why you lose your job and how this will affect them.

So while we hold a steady job, let us be thankful.  Not suggesting we should stick around a job if we utterly dislike what we are doing.  But if it's a matter of a few lousy days and a few rotten apples among our colleagues, let's brace ourselves through.  As they say in yoga, let it go.

Be thankful

Be thankful.   Easy concept yet often forgotten.

How can you not smile when you are thankful for the sun that never fails to rise everyday?  I feel the warmth of the sun on my face and the glow it casts over my surrounding this morning.  Nothing has changed just me feeling thankful for something I’ve taken for granted.

There’s no way to describe the fragrance of the flower picked from my neighbor’s garden.  Simple white flowers with small petals that exude the most enticing sweetness.

The vendors that push their carts of fresh grocery add a vibrant vibe to the neighborhood.   The carts overflowed with a variety of vegetables, fruits and spices.  Thankful for the convenience they bring forth.

Thankful for the domestic staff and drivers who ensure my life run smoothly.  My maids who never fail to make me my kopi trubuk every morning and let me come home to a house all cleaned and tidied with warm dinner waiting.  My driver who tackles the crazy traffic and make sure I get to my destination safe and sound, giving me the time to write, rest and catch up on work in the car. 

As I looked back in my life, I’ve been most fortunate to have all those people who make my life special in their own ways.

The baby-sitters who helped me with my kids since they were babies.  Without them and my mother-in-law, I won’t have managed my career.  Colleagues who in their small ways helped me ease into my work and who never fail to extend a helping hand when I needed them.  Bosses who believed in me and supported me.  Friends whose shoulders are drenched with my tears but who never fail to offer their listening ears whenever I needed them.  My parents who love me unconditionally.  My kids who teach me what it means to love.  My sis who shares my past and who will blindly stand by me while offering her does of honesty.

The list goes on and I know I am not doing justice to many others who have touched my life in their own ways.  I promise I will write about you at a later day.  For now, my most sincere thank you to everyone who touched my life in your special ways. 

  

Staying true to ourselves

Many of my female colleagues face the challenge in managing work and family.  In Asia, thankfully for domestic helpers,  many of us are freed from household chores.  That does not mean it's anyway easier for career women.  The issues with domestic helpers render a different discussion on its own.

The challenge in managing work and family is a constant balancing act women have faced since the industrial revolution when women started to get a job outside, first to assist the family financially and as time passed, for self-fulfillment.

There are many women who are constantly haunted by guilt from working especially if they are not doing it for financial reason.  Many well-educated women in South East Asia who are from well to do family tend to stop working after they start a family.  I have considerable admiration for women who decide to quit their job to be full-time mom or as they are now called, home-makers.  It's a round the clock job that is as much challenging as holding a 9 to 5 office career.  As long as the decision to leave their job is a conscious one they've embraced and not one made out of family pressure and guilt.

I won't call it an advice, but for the rest of women who enjoy working for the self-satisfaction, financial independence and the social networking, I suggest we stay true to ourselves for I am not sure we will be any happier leaving something we enjoy doing.  Our happiness is as vital to the family as much as we care about theirs.

To all women out there, may you stay true to your choice.