Does yoga make you sleep better?

One of my yoga teachers said he needs only four hours of sleep because he is re-energized from his yoga practice. For me, yoga makes me feel so relaxed I always feel sleepy after class.

When I was in my early 20s which was ages ago, I used to think sleep is a waste of time. There was so much to life (friends, school, parties, learning new stuff) that sleep was not a priority then.

More than a decade has passed and now I treasure any opportunity to sleep. With the responsibilities of a full-time job and a family, I crave for uninterrupted sleep. The one where your head hit the pillow and you open your eyes to a new day.  I hate the kind of sleep where I wake up in cold sweat in the middle of the night, I end up feeling lethargic the next day.

Since I started yoga, I sleep better. I still need at least eight hours of sleep to get me to fully function the next day. But gone are those nights where I  toss in bed counting sheep. And I tend to sleep through the night. On evenings where work or social obligations take the lead, I compensate the following night with a good sleep. The best nights are those when I come home fully relaxed after yoga practice. Those are the nights I sleep like a baby.

Photo credit to: http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=172

Yoga class reminds me of church

Going for yoga class reminds me of going to church. Everyone puts on their best behavior.  We are all nice, polite and full of smiles.

photo credit to: africa's portfolio

http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=1803

We go to yoga and church wanting to feel good. We listen to someone tells us what to do.  Of course, the difference is yoga comes with physical movements while you simply sit through church.  But if you consider the meditation aspect of yoga, it is similar to sitting and praying for hours in church.

Both yoga and church consist of tightly knitted community.  Once you are in, you become part of the family where everyone knows each other. And soon, you start hanging out with each other outside class or church.

Like any social groups, eventually gossips and clicks kick in. Then someone starts not getting along with another person. Someone else starts disliking another person.  Those that refuse to conform gets outcasted. Along the way, people get disillusioned and dropped out. 

What we tend to forget is the purpose of going to yoga or church? For me, going to yoga is about becoming a better person, physically and emotionally. Yoga helps me stay focused yet is effective in helping me relax. I will not drop out of yoga the way I dropped out of church because of the community. This time, I will stay focused on my objective.

Dare I call myself a yogini?

The term yogi (male) or yogini (female) is used to describe someone who practices yoga. Wikipedia describes yogi as " practitioner of various forms of spiritual practice".

I am rather cautious in calling myself a yogi or yogini.  After all, I started as a woman who can't touch her toes and is now taking baby-steps towards yoga practice.  I've looked at the blogs of many yogi/yogini and have been impressed with the years of experience they have under their belts or should I say on their mats.  Many have learned under well-know gurus or at least been to Mysore, the Mecca of yoga. Two years of Bikram yoga class does not qualify me to be in the same league as some of those yogi/yogini.

Yoga can be a rather intimidating experience for beginners.  I recalled how confused I was when I first decided to check out a yoga class.  They sound like foreign language to me (even reading through the descriptions of the classes do nothing to help me in understanding the different schools of yoga).

I signed up for Bikram yoga since the studio was most convenient to where I live and ended up liking it.  It probably has to do with the fact that the first few teachers I've had impressed me.  Omar was one of the first teachers I've had and he exudes the yoga spirit.  He was working in the IT industry before he decided to teach yoga full time.  This is not a guy who is a high school drop-out who has no idea what he wants to do in life and ended up as a yoga teacher.  This is a guy who decided to put aside what he had to pursue his dream or calling.  He shares his story of being a vegan, another true reflection of his calling.  This is definitely someone who practices what he preaches.

I suppose you can call yourself yogi/yogini when you truly exudes the yoga spirit, when yoga is not a badge you flaunt on your sleeve but a way how you lead your life. A true yogi/yogini is compassionate.

My yoga practice

I suddenly have the urge to want to do handstand.  That's coming from someone who could not touch her toes two years ago.

Walked into my first Bikram class not knowing what to expect and was hooked since then. It started with falling in love with the experience of shutting down the mind and focusing on my breathing for 90 minutes. Nothing else in the world matters other than just breathing, following the teacher's instruction and staying in the heated room. It was the only time I calm my mind.

There are still many postures in my Bikram practice I am struggling with. On some days, I cannot even manage the basic ones. Weird as it may sound, some postures that started quite easy grew difficult.  I recalled how I used to fear back-bend. I was scared. It was until one of the teachers who told me that back-bend is all about receiving love that I finally mustered the courage to give it a try. And the initial months of my attempt to do back-bend made me nausea.

Some days, I beat up myself for not perfecting many of the poses. Then I recalled how I started, a woman who could not even touch her toes. I have improved a lot since then. Instead of being too hard on myself, I simply have to practice and continue to believe in myself. Someday, I am sure I can do the handstand.

Having fun?

Do you remember when was the last time you had fun?  I am referring to doing something you truly enjoy it, something that lets you forget time and makes you feel good. I've forgotten how to have fun. I've asked myself how that is remotely possible but reality slaps me hard. I take things far too seriously.

Work for me is serious. It is all about working hard, achieving the target and attaining the next promotion. Motherhood is equally serious as it comes with enormous responsibilities but no road map. Even yoga which started out as fun is now becoming a challenge as I drive myself to do better; deeper back bend, stretch further and of course keep my knees locked.

I seem to have the impeccable capability to turn anything fun into serious. And that of course is no fun.

Addiction

Alcoholics never think they have too much to drink.  Workaholic know they work too much but justify but telling themselves it's a necessity.  I read somewhere we are all addicts.  According to Wikipedia, addiction is a form of dependency on things, activities and even feelings.

We are all aware of addiction to substance; drugs, booze, tobacco, food.  Some of us are addicted to watching TV.  There are also other forms of activities we are addicted to.  Those who follow Tiger Woods's divorce reads that he's said to be addicted to sex.  Even too much of a good thing is bad; there are people who are addicted to exercise. And of course, most shopaholics would deny they consume too much.

There's the less obvious addiction to feeling.  The feeling of high from gambling.  The ecstasy of love. It may sound crazy but some of us are addicted to negative feelings that make us feel lousy; depression and guilt.

Yoga teaches us to balance.  It is more than balancing on one leg.  Yoga teaches us to have a balance approach to life and balance is what addicts need.

Looking good

A Indonesian socialite is in coma in a clinic in Thailand due to liposuction.  I've seen her pictures on Tatler magazine and she is not in anyway chubby.  The themes in Hollywood on women past 40's seem to be about women's neurotic fear of aging and desperate attempt to look good.

To be fair, it's not only the celebrities and socialite who desperately want to cling to their prime look. My friend who's a banker was sharing her horror of finding stretch mark on her thighs and her gravitating eye bags.  And yes, she did contemplate going under a quick fix to remove those extra bags.

I have on many occasions covet for a pair of firm (and well-endowed) ones to replace my sagging (note sagging and not exactly saggy).

It's the fear of pain and consequences of a surgery that stop me from running off to Singapore or Thailand for a quick fix.  But deep inside I question whether I will be happy after enhancing my looks or will I keep want more fixes to keep me happy. As George Lopez advocates, be who you are.  I am trying to find peace with how I look and the fact that I age just like everyone else does.  If it's something I can't avoid, is it worth losing sleepless nights and thousands of dollars?

That doesn't mean I won't make the best to slow down the aging process.  I'm still into night creams, eye creams, sun blocks, facial massages and all those nice stuff I pamper myself with.  I am also learning to treat my body better with ample rest, the right diet (with occasional strays) and regular exercise. I've found that yoga helps to keep me in shape and happy.  And we can't deny happiness is the best antidote to a youthful look.

So for all the women out there, stay happy and youthful.

Curious eyes of a traveller

So often, we take for granted the city we live in.  I walk around, or should I say get driven around Jakarta partially blind.  I whip out my blackberry, work on my lap-top, read or sleep the moment I get into the car.

It wasn't until my last visit to Hanoi I reached a revelation.  After umpteenth visits to Hanoi, I am starting to  miss seeing the beauty of the city.  I used to be intrigued by sights of flower ladies peddling basket of flowers, street side cafes serving traditional food where people sit in short stools, the beauty of the lakes and ancient tube-houses.  I was starting to walk around Hanoi like I've seen it all and know it all.  It was a shame to take such a beautiful city for granted.

Likewise for Jakarta, it has its charm once you peel through its irony of chaotic and glitzy layers.  Once you step outside the malls and walk into the neighborhoods, it's common to see jamu ladies carrying bottles of traditional herbal medicine in baskets tied to their slender back by a sarong cloth, bakso vendors peddling pots of steaming beef balls served over rice noodles, vegetable vendors making their rounds with push-carts filled with fresh vegetables and spices and the warungs around every corner.

Perhaps it is the constant search for a topic to write that makes me more alert to my surrounding. Perhaps it is yoga that teaches me to be present. I am more aware and appreciative of my surrounding, I now see with the curious eyes of a traveller.    

Instant Gratification

Nowadays, everything has to be instant; instant noodle, instant coffee, instant soup, even instant rice. We are all running short of time and patience.  

I've started bikram yoga a year ago. The main motivation then was to find peace within myself.  I was struggling in my career and was having trouble relaxing.  Gym and my running couldn't give me the "escape" I was yearning for.  Walked into my 1st bikram yoga class not knowing what to expect. If I had known I would be sweating, panting and suffocating for 90 minutes in a class with 39 degrees heat, I might not have signed up for the class.  I was looking for meditation to calm my mind and I got more than that.

Getting critical of myself recently with voices in my head telling me that I'm not making progress even though I've been doing yoga for a year.  I compare myself to the ladies next to me in class and they look slimmer and fitter than me.  My tummy is visibly flabby after 2 kids and my youngest is already eight years old! I still can't do all the postures in perfection. There are days I can't even manage the basic ones.

Then I realize I am falling into the trap of expecting instant gratification.  Many of the yogis have been doing yoga for years and many come almost daily whereas I can only manage the weekend classes.  Although I've not lost weight, I feel healthier. I have better postures; fewer backaches and shoulder aches.  I sleep better and I learn to breathe better.  I used to have shorter breaths and tend to hold my breath when I am stressed out.  Now I am more conscious of my breaths and I am more aware of how my body reacts to stressful situations.  I wake up more refreshed after sleeping through the night like a baby.

Somethings changed inside me since I started yoga.  I suppose as I learn to let go in class, I am learning to let go in life.  As I learn to relax in class with each postures, I am learning to relax in life.  As I learn to focus in class, I am learning to stay more focused in every moment of life.  I learn to accept that although I don't have the perfect posture, as long I give my best effort, I deserve to pat myself on the back.  In life, I learn to be kind and forgiving to myself.

Next time in class, I will smile at myself in the mirror and tell myself that it all takes time.

Yoga

It made me chuckle whenever we complain in the locker about how unbearably hot the class was.  We willingly sign up and brace Jakarta traffic to come to class knowing that we would be doing yoga for 90 minutes in a heated room.  Yet, we still find most classes too hot.  We are like Goldilocks, the temperature never quite suit our liking.

Benchmark of a "good" a class is the frequency the teacher turns on the fan, opens the window and the best treat of course is when she opens the door letting in a gush of cool air which feels heavenly.

Along with one of the postures today, the teacher said "don't anticipate, be present".  This is so true.  We often anticipate the teacher opening the door and and when she doesn't, we feel frustrated.  In addition to the real heat in the room, I swore I could feel my heart racing when she walked to door, held on the door-knob yet did not open the door!

We often forget that there is more to yoga than just losing weight (though the losing weight part is great).   It's about listening to our teacher, listening to our body.  It's about staying focused and meditating.  It's about union of the mind and body.

Let's enjoy the heat, let go, be present and breathe.

Yoga and Change

It's been a year since I started Bikram Yoga. There are some postures I can now do that I didn't even dare attempt then. Back-bend for one gave me so much fear when I started, I convinced myself I couldn't do it. On days I was brave enough to go half-way, it triggered intense sensation of nausea. Now, back-bend is one of my favorite postures. I love how relaxing my back feels afterwards.

My body reacts differently to the 26 postures on different days. There are certain days even the simplest postures feel extremely tough. I've now learn to accept that each class is different. As long as I try my best in each posture, I do not have to beat up myself for not having the perfect posture. Instead of resisting, I have learned to accept the changes my body and mind go through.

Each class is different due to the energy generated from the students and teacher. It's easy to get accustomed a particular teacher but we improve better under several teachers who fine-tune us differently. And each teacher with his/her personality brings different energy to the class.

Yoga teaches me to accept change and flow along like a river instead of fighting something which is inevitable. As Confucius said "They must constant change, who would be constant in happiness and wisdom".

Doing something fun

Wanted to do something fun.  Yet, can't think of anything that fun I really want to do.

I am quite happy with simple life of yoga, reading and chilling out with the kids after work.  Enjoy nice lunch once in a while with a few girlfriends to laugh over silly jokes and share heartfelt concerns.  Like to keep my weekend non-commital with as few engagements as possible.  For me, a great weekend starts with yoga, lunches with parents and sister, more reading, writing and self-reflection.  Weekend highlight for the kids is trip to the bookstore and grocery shopping (where they get to buy snacks) with occasional movies.  Even just sitting at the driving range watching my son practice his golf on Sunday evening is something I enjoy.

I love to travel.  Aside from my simple life, perhaps this is one highlight that can be considered fun.  Love seeing new places, learning new culture, trying new food, soaking up the local ambiance.  Look forward to taking the kids to Hanoi in spring break; taking the rickshaw around Old Quarter, coffee at the French Quarter, strolling along the lake, ice cream at Metropole.

So as you see, attempt to have fun can be quite frustrating.  I've given up trying too hard to have fun.  As long I enjoy what I am doing, I'm doing fine.

Listening

It just struck me yesterday at yoga class how bad I am with listening.  I hear but don't listen.  There is no other sound in class to distract me other than the teacher giving out instructions and yet I fail to listen.   My mind drifts away.  There I am trying to do my poses with my mind going havoc on me.  I read somewhere that an untrained mind is line a wild horse trying to flee in all directions.  That was exactly how my mind behaved yesterday in class.  Work, things to do, people all flocked into my mind randomly.   Breathing and listening to your breath helps tame the mind.

Yoga is about listening to your body.  Letting go of what your mind tells your body what it can or cannot do.  One of my most challenging poses is camel which is a deep back-bend from a kneeled down position.  It took many months and classes for my body to convince my mind that it is alright to attempt that pose.  When I was told that that pose is about receiving love, it struck me that I do have issues in receiving love.  I've unconsciously felt that I need to work at being loved, I need to put in the effort in any relationship in order for the other person to love me.  And when I don't feel love, I work harder to gain back the love.  When I don't feel love, I may even blame myself for not making it work.

Now I am working to be at peace with myself.  I realize I first have to love and accept myself.  Only then can I love and accept others.  I cannot expect others to love and accept me and I've to learn to let go of that expectation.

It's still a journey towards self-love and self-acceptance but it's a journey I've committed myself to embark.

Bikram Yoga and Me

It's impossible to imagine how 90 minutes of stretching and sweating in a heated room with so many people packed next to each other can make me feel so good.  The first class was all about surviving in the heat and gasping for air.  Subsequent classes didn't immediately make me feel the inner peace I was hoping from yoga.  Thought that perhaps Bikram is the wrong style of yoga for me.  But given how stiff my body is; I can't even bend over and touch my toes and I am not close to 40, I decided to give Bikram a chance.  This in addition to me getting bored with the gym.  It was more about trying to lose weight and keeping fit then.

It's been a year since I started yoga and as much as I can't do all the 26 poses in perfection, I now long for the 90 minutes of class, both for the physical benefit and but the meditation.  Yes, it sounds bizarre but listening to the teacher and to your own body and emotion when you are trying to do the poses is similar to meditation.  I have overcome the fear of some poses.  Many of these fears are what my minds tell me but apparently once I let go of these fears, my body can easily accommodate.  There are good days and there are bad days.  Goods days when all poses come in naturally.  Bad days when you can't do the basic, when you can't stand even your teacher, when you feel nauseas and want to flee the room.

Whatever it is, as long as you remain in the room and make an attempt with all the poses, it's a guarantee that you will finish class feeling more at ease, more recharged and refreshed.  Otherwise, just simply let go and see you in the next class.

Namaste.